Colds suck !

I started getting sick last week and when does it hit full force ? Of course it would be Thanksgiving ! I spent half the day in bed and had to cook while jumping betwene the bed and the kitchen. I even ate dinner dressed in my pajamas.
Today I feel a little better but still have some tightness in the chest and my sinuses are killing me. I have never seen a cold like that.
The good news is that with all the time I spent in bed this weekend, my hip and back are finally feeling better. I am not walking with a limp and I haven't needed the heating pad yet in my chair at work. I traded the pain for a cold .. not sure yet if it was a fair one.
I did get out a little bit and get shopping and such done but other than that I tried to take it easy.

Tomorrow starts my month with health coverage as well. I am a little nervous about it since I have been so ill the last few days but wish me luck that I don't get hurt or sicker during that time !

Gobble gobble

2 days until Thanks giving and I am now realizing how fast this year flew !!! I wish I could say it was a good year but it was full of pain.
Between kidney surgery, facet injections, parathyroidism and now my hip I can see why everything passed by so fast. Not only was my body sad but my mind had a rough year right along side it. My heart is lonely and it's affecting my head.
I saw Dr. Weinghart today and he wants me to start taking the meds every 8 hours now instead of 12 to see if I can get some relief. I am not sure how much this will help but I am willing to try anything. He is starting me on a new medicine, forgot to write it down to link in here but I will later. It is supposed to help me sleep through the night now instead of waking up with every roll on to my hips and back. I really hope this works like he thinks it will. He basically said that we need to find something to work because I will be facing this for years to come. Yay ....
I see Dr. Erickson this afternoon and I am sure it will be like all my visits with him. Drive an hour to sit in the office for 5 minutes while he tells me this is normal and I will just have to be patient and let it heal. I can't believe it's been almost 5 months since they did this. I want to feel better already. I don't want to be patient anymore ! I am sure the topic of my right hip will come up today, but since my insurance is finished on the 30th and I will not resume coverage until Jan.1 st that it will definitely be on hold another month.
We will be spending Thanksgiving at home, nice and quiet. I have the stuff for dinner, a nice spiral ham and all the fixings. I am struggling so hard to find anything to be thankful for this year.

Short workweek !

I am so happy it's a short week.
My body is hating me this week with a passion. between the backaches and the weird hip pain I am wiped out. I am feeling pain deep in the side of my thigh and it feels almost like a prickly burning feeling .. kinda like what I felt along my pelvic rim on the right side that initially took me to the doctor. I am limping badly and my body is so stiff now, even when staying still for a short amount of time.
I have decided to start cutting calories to see if losing a few pounds will help me. My back is so sore, leaving me close to tears all day long. I was laying in bed yesterday and saw an infomercial for a thing called the BackJoy. I know it is approved by the FDA as a medical device so I am going to give it a try and see if I can't get some relief. I will definitely keep you updated !
I see both docs tomorrow and hopefully I can get some kind of progress out of this. The last few visits to Dr. Erickson I just get the "let it heal" statement and 5 minute appointments. I am still not sure how it will go with Dr. Weinghart but hopefully I can get some good information from him on how to cope with my pain and not use so many pain management drugs.
The pain is getting worse everyday and I am truly sick of it.

Week 1 done

This first week at the new job flew. I have been in so much pain it's unbelievable. We did finally have a drive home last night that was right at an hour. I keep hoping my body will start adjusting to the long rides but it hasn't.
My back is finally feeling better. Last night I took a muscle relaxer and my regular meds, soaked in a bath and went to bed. It is slow going but I am glad it doesn't feel like it did Monday. My hips are still stiff and a little painful but after a while they loosen up as long as I get up and stretch, which hasn't been much ! They are keeping me extremely busy and I seem to be fitting in to the team nicely. I am catching Brandon's cold so one thing is taking place of another. Hopefully that goes away and it's just something minor. He has been horribly ill and he isn't getting much better.
I do miss all my friends and wish I could relate to others here like I do to them. I miss having that support system and people who understood what I was going through. Who knows .. maybe soon !

What did I do ?

So this morning while I was getting ready for work I noticed a very quick pinch in my back. All I can is ouch !!!! It has progressively gotten worse as the day goes on. The pinching is all the way up to the bottom of my ribs and down both legs. This almost feels like when I herniated a disk but I literally did absolutely nothing when it started hurting like this.
The hip of course still hurts and now my groin hurts along with it. I don't know if it is the back pain adding to it but I wish it would all just go away. I am on the verge of tears and throwing up at the same time, which is such a lovely thought.
I will give this a couple of days before I get alarmed. I am chalking this up to my facet arthritis and pain in my back. The commute is starting to seriously affect my health, the sitting for hours to drive home. What have I done ? have I made the wrong decision with accepting this pisition ? Is this ever going to end with the amount of pain following my surgery ? It's just all too much right now.

New job rocks !

I started the new job on Wednesday but looking back now I should have taken a couple of days off and enjoyed a little down time.
Regardless I am enjoying things so far. The people are absolutely wonderful and I can tell I have tons of work that is going to keep me really busy. The only thing so far that has affected me is the drive. When I drove to work before it was a quick 20-25 minute shot straight down. Now it ranges from 35 minutes to an hour like today. I am so not used to traffic. It has been taking me nearly an hour and 20 minutes to get home. My body is not used to that at all. I hate driving ! So now when I get home my body is stiff and I am wiped out. I am sure eventually I will adjust, but for now I will bitch about it !
I decided to take the 24th off since I am seeing Dr. Weinghart in the morning to come up with a plan to get me off the pain medication. In the afternoon I am seeing Dr. Erickson for my month followup. My insurance ends on the 30th so I made sure to squeeze in the last visits and medication refills. I will of course get them to write next months scripts then as well. I will have coverage with my new employer within 30 days after I start so I do not have to let Cobra coverage gouge me. I did find out it is a lapse of 60 days for coverage before it's considered an existing condition, so I am safe.
Well back to work for me !

It's done

I am sitting here just waiting for the clock to tick down to my final minutes here. There is just this wave of calm that came over me this morning as I made my last drive here. The stress is gone, time for a new stress to start with learning a new job. This kind is much more exciting !
My body is sore today and I am walking pretty stiff. I have the heat going on my back as usual and it feels good. I am starting to feel weird lumps underneath my incision spots and think the scar tissue is starting to build up. You would not believe how tender it is ! I have been massaging it to loosen it up but it hurts quite a bit.
The hip feels even tighter today. I don't know if my body is just used to the pain meds and working it's way around it, but it has started to get worse lately. I am trying to convince myself that it is healing and that's all I am feeling is my body trying hard to rebuild muscle and tissue. I will be seeing Dr. Erickson on the 24th and I am really hoping by then we can decide what to do next. I want to be able to sit on a chair without my legs and lady parts falling asleep ! I know the hamstring is still tight so I have to get my butt back to stretching daily. I felt a little bit of clicking last night as I was doing some stretching and I freaked out.
My mind is everywhere today so it's best I quit now. It may be a while before I can get back here since I now have a commute but I don't plan to stop until the process is done !

One more day !

This is my last full day working at quite possibly one of the most stressful jobs I have ever had. It didn't really hit me how bad until I started getting sick and having to deal with medical issues. Making up time for appointments with night and weekend work, doing what I could out of guilt to get back to work after major surgery on my hip ... it just hits you all at once I think. I even used all of my sick days and vacation to follow the doctors orders and take a week off after my scope.

This weekend was extremely rough on the hip. I skipped meds on Saturday night so I could go to happy hour with my sister and her husband, and man did I pay for it at about 4am. I couldn't even sleep my legs hurt so bad. I felt those creepy crawlies again in my legs all the way up and down. Once I took the Oxy I was better but I went 24 hours without the Lyrica. Once I grabbed that from the pharmacy and took it I started to feel better. I hate this so much. I hate having to depend on little pills to make me feel better every day. I feel like my hip is never going to heal. I can't sit now for more than 20 minutes at a time and my back aches pretty much all the time. The pain is more in the center of the cheek and right around the hamstring insertion. Back to the heat I guess ....

Day 5 - Fail

So it isn't going as I planned ! I gave in and had to get back on the pain medication. The pain has been unbearable and I wish I had the ability to be stronger. It feels like my back is the source of more than half of it but my hip is still not feeling better.
Today the pain is better but along the bottom of the left cheek is horrible. I am not able to sit for long periods of time. The entire side on my hip is tender and sore, surely pain that was being masked by the Oxy. I am scheduling an appointment with Dr. Weinghart to see what options I have to do this without going cold turkey and suffering. I really think I am going to have to do the Facet Injections again if I am going to have any relief. The cold is getting at my other joints now too so I need to get things under control before I lose my mind !
I feel like a failure, but I knew when I started what I was up against.

Day 3 detox

OMG .... the pain !!! That's all I can really say this morning.
My back is hurting so badly and there is nothing I can do other than to give in and take a pill. It's Tylenol for now and see how it works. My hip is definitely giving me problems as well and I had hoped it wouldn't be this bad. I can feel it mostly on the bottom of my butt cheek. It's getting difficult to sit for a long period of time too. I am going to try and soak tonight in a hot bath and try some of the yoga stretching exercises I learned to see if I can actually get a full nights sleep. I had thought of taking Tylenol PM but it defeats the whole purpose of getting off pain medications.
The headache is easing which helps a ton. I don't want to be a flaming bitch during this process, but this would be a good time to do it while I am getting ready to leave this job. So back to work .... maybe.

Day 2

Well day one can be best described as an utter disaster. I started feeling pretty ill last night and ended up in bed by 7:30. I just laid there and watched a movie with Brandon, Gangs of NY. My back ache became almost unbearable so I took some Tylenol and tried to keep my mind busy with the movie. By about 2am I couldn't sleep due to the leg pain and a headache started setting in. I did take the Lyrica as I had planned so I didn't add to anything by trying to do both at the same time. I can't even describe the back ache I felt though, so deep and distracting.
This morning I am exhausted. I felt like I didn't sleep at all. My head hurts, which I can only assume is a rebound headache. I am stuffy in my nose and sinuses. The backache is ten times worse than it was last night and my hip is absolutely horrible. When I step down I feel a very sharp stabbing pain deep in the joint. I am feeling pain on the outside as well, but more in my groin and where I sit. I have the heat going on high today on my back and may resort to my heating pad for the groin if it continues to get worse through the day.

I am seriously beginning to have second thoughts. I want off these pain meds but at what cost ? Thinking I may need to include my doctor in this one ....

Time to detox !

After several weeks of research on detoxing my body I have finally come up with a plan. So, welcome to day 1.
The plan is to start seeing a chiropractor for my back, acupuncture and physical therapy for the hip along with hydrotherapy. I don't want to be on medication anymore to hide what isn't healing.
The side effects I am currently having -
Lyrica ones I am having:

• Dizziness
• Blurry vision
• Weight gain
• Sleepiness
• Trouble concentrating
• Swelling of hands and feet
• Dry mouth
• Feeling "high"

I was looking at issues I will have during withdrawl and came across this gem "Now researchers are reporting a case of brain swelling, or cerebral edema, after abrupt withdrawal from pregabalin (Lyrica), a new antiepileptic drug that will be available this fall." and "The most important Lyrica withdrawal symptom is a seizure."
I will be asking for a lower dosage with my next refill and slowly ween myself off of this one. The sounds of withdrawls are just as scary as the changes it has made in me personally. I will admit now I am terrified. What made my doctor think this was a good medication for me to deal with my arthritis ?

The next will be Oxycontin.
Side effects I have been dealing with -
"slow/shallow breathing, fainting, slow/fast/irregular heartbeat, mental/mood changes (such as agitation, hallucinations, confusion), difficulty urinating, vision changes."
"Nausea, vomiting, constipation, dizziness, drowsiness, headache, increased sweating, dry mouth, lightheadedness, loss of appetite, or weakness"

I think the worst has been the change in my personality. Many people have noticed such a huge change between a year ago and now. I was such an easy person to get along with. I could run with the kids and have a great time, I could work for hours and actually have a full thought. Now I am just a shell of who I was. I am tired all the time. I feel nauseous every moment I am awake and I am just not myself. Hell, sitting in the car today I cried just thinking about how much I have lost just in the past 6 months due to the changes in myself. I hate me. I hate the doctors for knowingly allowing this to happen to me.

Withdrawl symptoms:
"Sudden stoppage of oxycontin can result in serious withdrawal symptoms. The withdrawal syndrome may be characterized by restlessness, lacrimation, restlessness, anxiety, rhinorrhea, yawning, perspiration, chills, myalgia, and mydriasis. Other symptoms also may develop, include irritability, vague pain, weakness, abdominal cramps, insomnia, nausea, anorexia, vomiting, diarrhea, or increased blood pressure, respiratory rate, or heart rate."

I am so scared to start this journey right now. Right when I am ready to start a new job and a new chapter in my life, but I have to do this. I am losing grip on everything that means anything to me in my life. I don't want to be a prisoner to these drugs any more and try to find a new way to cope with the pain. The pain is bearable in comparison to the mental torture I am feeling now. The loneliness I feel since alienating everyone, the sadness of losing anything active in my life. It's over now. I am determined to get through this and regain control of my life again. The worst part is I am doing it alone. I am going to need all the strength I can muster.