Hey !

I decided to join the many internet-savvy people and start blogging ! I have read many accounts of FAI and the process of diagnosis, surgery and recovery. This will be my record of the entire process and I will be extremely honest about how it affects my mental and physical state. Others will be googling when they find out they have the same diagnosis and support seems to be the thing missing.
My diagnosis (right hip)-
- cam-type FAI and pincer-type
- partial detachment of the anterior/superior labrum (tear)
- fraying along the articular margin of the superior labrum with minimal partial detachment
- chondral softening along the superior acetabular rim manifested by low signal in the cartlidge (no clue what that means !)
- mild chrondral surface irregularity
- chondral softening involving adjacent superior femoral head
- physiologic joint fluid
- insertional tendinosis of the right gluteus minimus

My left hip is almost the same but says complete detachment and no fluid reported.

Friday, October 30, 2009

First slip ...

I knew it was coming. I pulled in to the parking lot this morning, got out and slid along side my car. I grabbed on to the door but my leg did get away from me. I am now sore from catching myself in the groin area and the bottom of my butt. This hip is never going to heal ! The joint was already aching from the cold and this just added a little more pain to the area. I am starting to hate that word ... pain. It's the center of my universe now.
I took some advil to take the edge off and it seems to be working. I have heat on my back and taking it easy today. I figured I will just soak in a bath tonight and call Dr. Erickson if it doesn't feel better in a few days. I do know it is just tender and in the healing process. This would have been a good day for PT since he works those kinks out. I hate winter !

Work is another story. I have lost my drive to transition. I want things to go smoothly for the new guy, but I am feeling the stress going away more everyday knowing I am closer to starting my new job. It's a very nice feeling. I spiked a migraine last night but for once the Maxalt worked, so obviously there is still some stress there that I haven't let go yet. I am really trying to find some motivation to get things done. I have a busy weekend planned again and it should be fun. The guys are going to abuse me and make me do things I normally wouldn't do !

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Snow !

The one thing I never really thought about until now, the snow. I am nervous .... Very nervous !!! What happens if I slip or fall on the ice, slide sideways and catch my hip again. Things that are hitting me right in the face right now. I wore boots today so I hope they have enough traction on them to keep me stable, but we are looking at another foot of snow by the end of the day. The drive in was really slick and I will be asking the boys to shovel the driveway and sidewalk to save me the risk of hurting myself.
My hip aches so badly today and I have to assume it is from the weather. It's cold and damp out, not to mention it makes me shiver enough to hurt my whole body. My medius is starting to really hurt again on the right side since I stopped seeing Michael last Monday. This is something I will definitely pursue outside of my current injury. My other forms of PT have also stopped and I found that helped more than anything a doctor has done for me. I gave my notice yesterday and I had to ask how this will affect the Workman's Compensation claim I have open. Dr. Erickson said that until they release me as healed that I am fine but to make sure when I change jobs to keep Cobra coverage so I have no gaps in insurance coverage. This will cover the existing condition claim.
The cold weather is bringing on a tad bit of depression. I had a lot to think about last night and I am sure this will pass as quickly as it came.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Appointment update

I saw Dr. Erickson today and he agrees that I need to stop PT because it appears to be making things worse not better. I told him I am to the point where I want to just tell everyone "I fine" and leave it at that. He then asked if I was fine and I answered no. The pain is distracting but at least bearable now.
I know I am healing, something I have known for a while. He said that I just need to wait it out and let the hip heal, then we can start looking at the other one. Of course I cringed when he said that ! The pain meds are at least masking the real pain and he said for now let it mask so I can heal. He is seeing me again in a month.

Quick Update !

I got my offer letter this morning for the new job ... and I am taking it !!!! I made sure their insurance carrier will cover my next scope as well. Now the fun part of giving my 2 week notice. I also need to plan relocation. Now that I am with my sister I don't want to move away from her and the kids, but knowing he is moving here makes me have a need to move away as quickly as possible. There has to be a happy medium.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Great weekend

It was definitely a good weekend. I felt good and things actually went pretty smooth.
The movie wasn't that great but had some scary parts. We went and saw Paranormal Activity. I expected it to be better but I had a blast with Heather and my friends from work.
Saturday I took my little guy to the dentist in the morning and they want to pull his baby tooth. He got an infection in one of his molars because his permanent is already breaking through and something got in there. We ran all over town and got things done for the rave. We got to Hallow Freakin' Ween at about 8:30. They announced the location in Colorado Springs Friday night so there was not much time for planning the 2 hour drive ! My hip though did fantastic and I am definitely feeling better. I was even able to dance for a few hours and I felt great. I made sure not to drink more than one drink and skipped the meds for one night. We rolled in around 4:00AM exhausted but had an awesome time. I did have a migraine hit but I worked through it. It was great seeing my girls so happy.
Yesterday was a bbq with my sister and her family. I met my nephews for the first time and it was so nice. Having family around now has made me so happy. Her and her husband are loving, caring people and we are going to have a long happy life all together, getting to know each other. She made me feel so welcome in her home and her husband welcomed my kids with open arms. The last time she saw them they were so little, heck they were 9,7,5 and 2. Now they are all grown. She is an awesome woman and I admire what a great job she has done.

I can tell I am healing physically and emotionally. I am hardly feeling any pain at all now in the hip and I can sit for longer periods of time. Every now and then I feel a slight ache but this weekend reminded me that my hip is healing fine. My heart, not so much but I will have no choice but to pull myself together. With the most awesome support system in the world I will get through this and be stronger for it ... just in time to go through it with the next hip !

Friday, October 23, 2009

Happy weekend !

Another week gone by, and not a bad one at that other than the disaster that started it.
My hip is finally starting to feel better. I hate to say it, but after not having but one pt session earlier this week I am beginning to question if it was working for me or just irritating things. It was certainly making my back feel better, but of course that wasn't where I really needed it. There is little pain in the butt now and I am so happy about that. There was a point I was wondering if I would ever feel better. So for now I will try and see if this is going to progress and see Dr. Erickson next Tuesday. It would be nice to finally be done with all the Workman's comp stuff.
The funny thing is my scars are still sore and itchy !

I was reflecting last night about how the rest of the process is going to go. I have been interviewing with different companies to possibly accept a less stressful position and things look great. I got a call back for the first one this morning and I believe they may be making an offer. They had asked for me to drive back down today but there was no way I could find 2 hours to sneak off. I don't like having to do it this way but I am exploring my options. So, hopefully good news soon or at least an option for a job with less stress and more direction. It may be hard though to get coverage having this as an existing condition.

It's going to be a busy weekend and I am hoping it isn't as bad as last weekend was for the hip and back. We are seeing a movie tonight with some friends of mine from work determined to make me fee better, doing a Halloween rave tomorrow night and a wonderful bbq at my sister's house. I have to admit it is really nice keeping my mind occupied during the rough times and I start to refocus on what needs to be done. Back to the grind of healing and recovery.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

10/21 Already

Today isn't a good or bad day. It's definitely a neutral one. I had run out of the oxycontin and went a day and a half without it and it was the worst pain I had ever felt. The withdrawl is even worse but now that I am back on my regular schedule I am feeling much better. This one will be huge to work through when we finally get things worked out with my other hip. I have done some light research on the withdrawl and I am in for a ride. I did feel a slight hangover feeling from taking my last 2 scheduled doses.
My biggest concern is the pain I felt off the meds. It was deep in the hip and I couldn't believe how much is being masked. I stayed with the Lyrica but it really didn't feel like it was doing anything productive, so I may asked Dr. Weinghart next time I see him if it's really necessary to stay on this one now that some of the bigger issues are being worked through. I am done with pt sessions until I see Dr. Erickson again so I am sticking with my stretches and doing regular exercises.
Emotionally I am numb. Working through issues in my own head and heart and moving on with my life. This is a good time to be working on the entire body again.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Ewww Monday

After a short quiet weekend, it's back to the grind. I hate Monday's !!!!
So, the trip up to the hot springs was really nice. The weather was fantastic and stayed in the mid 70's. The leaves are turning and they appeared in reds and oranges all the way up through the pass which was stunning. When we got there the hotel view was great and we headed out for dinner. The drive was 3 hours and I could barely walk when I got out of the car. Due to getting car sick I took some meds and slept a good part of the trip.
Dinner was fantastic. We ate at a small rib place and they tasted yummy. The beer was cold and the meat was good .... ideal for a great dinner out. After dinner we headed to the big pool. Getting in the water felt fantastic. The cooler pool was nice and we just hung out for a bit before getting in the really hot one. Once we moved to the hot pool I was happy. They have these bubble chairs that you put a quarter in and you get your own mini hot tub right there on your butt. Considering where my pain is it felt really good. We bounced between the 2 pools for a couple of hours and headed back. It was a nice night of drinking and TV, something I normally don't do at home.
The next morning I woke up horribly stiff and having pain deep in the joint. I felt that pain all day and even had problems walking around at the local shops. We really only walked maybe a total of 2 hours but my body felt like it had been a full day. We decided to stop in Vail and walk the village on the way home and we also stopped at the outlet stores. By the end of the day I was in more pain than I can describe. The rest of the ride home was welcomed and I was able to rest.

Today though I am sore. I saw Michael this morning and he worked out some of the tighter places which felt good but hurt like hell while he was doing it ! It looks like my injury is healing though and it is moving more towards the back and my hip. I see Dr. Erickson tomorrow and I will see if I just walked too much on it. What bothers me most is that 3 1/2 months in I would think I can handle some time on my feet. It's extremely discouraging.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Happy Happy Friday !

I am really happy the week is over finally ! It was the week from hell considering this migraine has stuck with me for 3 days now. I am happy not to have the auras any more but the nausea is horrid. I feel like I am always on the edge of it coming back though. We are planning a nice weekend away so that may help me a lot. We are going to Glenwood Springs to soak in the hot springs .... it will be so relaxing and needed. "Glenwood Springs has the world's largest hot springs swimming pool, and our setting at the confluence of the Roaring Fork River and the Colorado River make us a natural fit for year-round fun. " I have read that the hot springs are natural resources for arthritis relief so any type of relief that is not narcotic is welcome.

I saw Michael this morning and I am feeling really good. There is a change in the tissue on the outside of my hip and there is more bruising, which I can't explain. I did the leg presses and a new stretch against the wall rolling my hip out and bearing weight on the opposite leg. It is really sore again at the insertion so he worked on it with the ultrasound and used the gel. I was late for my appointment this morning because Brandon missed the school bus which cut my session really short. I do get to see him Monday again and will make sure I am on time !

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The world is getting sick ..

I swear everyone is catching the flu or some form of sickness everywhere around me ! I ended up in ER with a monster migraine last night and there were people surrounding me with surgical masks on. It was one of those very surreal and almost movie like scenes, but of course I was in tears and vomiting uncontrollably. It started yesterday morning and I took a Maxalt, but then by 10 or so it still hadn't eased so I took another. By the time I went home and laid down the vomiting started and I was done. Finally around 7:00PM I headed to the hospital for some relief.
This morning I feel wiped out. I came to work late and still have a nasty headache. I am trying to actually eat something even though I feel seriously nauseated. Maybe by tomorrow I will finally be back to normal.
As for the hip, it feels really good believe it or not. There haven't been any huge bouts of pain or stabbing in the butt area. There is a small area at the hamstring insertion that is sore, but it has been since the beginning. I also took it easy this week, but maybe this is a sign I can hope for a recovery back on track. I see Michael in the morning and he will get an opportunity to abuse me some. I will also see Dr. Erickson next Tuesday.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Slacking

I am getting worse about weekend updates. Nothing really exciting happened with Dr. Erickson. He is attributing my recent pain to the change in the weather but I am not too sure I agree with him. I do have increased pain in my back and the places I was hurting before but I am not sure I am ready to just write is off as my body reacting to winter coming!
The weekend was pretty quiet. I did absolutely nothing Saturday. I figured I never get time to just sit and take time to come down from the hard week, but I took advantage of it even though my house felt neglected. Sunday was another story though. Groceries, laundry ... all the stuff I usually do over a 2 day span got smushed into one day. Nate had a birthday party to go to so Rob dropped him and his boys off and I picked them up. It was interesting trying to get everything done in 4 hours, but we managed and I was able to chill for a bit. I was feeling some pretty intense back pain while doing laundry. I pulled all the winter clothes out and jackets to take to the laundromat and get them all done at once. The blankets are the biggest pain, but having them in the bottom dryers was awful ! I eventually had Brandon pulling everything out for me because I couldn't bend any more.
My hip feels slightly better today after seeing Michael this morning. I usually feel relief when I see him and today was no exception. He saw several bruises along the hamstring and on the IT band but we couldn't really determine where they came from. I know sometimes when I hurt I rub those areas and may have gotten a little too agressive. He did put me on the eliptical today which surprised the heck out of me. I did a minute forward and then one backward. I did this for a while and then tried changing directions after a few steps. Forward didn't really hurt but then moving backward was extremely painful, not sure how productive that really was. He did massage my hamstring and IT band which hurt like a %^%@^$# but I lived and feel much better.
Emotionally this last few weeks have been great. I met with my sister last night and it was fantastic. I also feel extremely loved by the kids and Rob. It's been a rough road but things always seem to look up. I am so lucky to have such a great family and a new start with the most important things in my life.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Dreary day ...

The weather is changing very fast here, 70 yesterday and now in the 40's with snow expected this afternoon. I woke up kinda stuffy but guessing it was from the heat being on to keep the house warm. I hate winter .. and this winter will be interesting. It will be a challenge to make sure I don't fall on the ice and hurt myself worse than I already have. I am going shoe shopping soon to get rid of any heels and wear slacks this winter. I usually do during the winter but I just want to get better and not open myself for more injuries.
My back is sore today too, more than usual with the exception of yesterday. The outside of the thigh is sore and I am having a hard time sitting for a long period of time. I have had heat on my back almost all day and it does help a bit. My hamstring isn't playing nice today but I also skipped my stretches this morning. I didn't have physical therapy scheduled but will see Michael tomorrow morning. I took my regular meds and half a muscle relaxer last night. The muscle relaxer stuck with me and I overslept, only 15 minutes late for work but still late. I did set a personal record of showering, makeup and hair in 14 minutes this morning !

I see Dr. Erickson this afternoon for my followup from last week. I really hope this is normal, the pain in the groin and butt (literally). If not I guess he will let me know.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Need to vent

So I have now been working solo just short of 2 weeks now and I can honestly say it's affecting me. Between the pain and trying to get around to doctors, physical therapy, then having to deal with clueless vendors and applications that refuse the work the same for every user .... the least I can say is I am frustrated to no end and need to calm down a little.
I have been running all over the building during testing and my hip is hurting to the point I stopped long enough to cry in the bathroom. There is a horrible pinch in my lower back, assuming it is the sciatic nerve doing it. I just want to cry, and hard. I can't hold it all in anymore and be expected to function on a normal level. The lack of understanding of what I am going through on a professional level is near sickening. So, suck it up and just do it right ? There has to be a point my body is going to tell me it can't work at this pace anymore and it's going to leave me in a very bad state.

Well, I took a minute out to sit down and breath but time to get back to the grind.

Monday, October 5, 2009

What a weekend !

I quite possibly have the best friends in the world ! This has by far been the best birthday I have ever had and I feel so blessed and happy to have these people in my life.
So to the meat of things. The weekend went pretty good pain-wise until yesterday. I took it easy Saturday night and didn't move the hip too much but man did my back let me know I pushed a little too far. I was about 5 hours or so over time for my medication yesterday morning and I can't even describe the pain I felt. Once I got home and was able to lay down I took the oxycontin and 30 minutes later got some relief. There is a new pain I am feeling also on the outside of the thigh as well, deep in the hip. I am hoping it's just irritated. There is also a burning in the same area and then it is shooting pain through the hip and to my butt. I am a little concerned but we will see how it feels tomorrow.
I saw Michael this morning and as usual he has the magic hands. My back is still hurting extremely bad and I will most likely take 50mg of Tramadol to calm it down. When I got in the car to go home yesterday morning I felt a horrible pull and sharp pain near my S1/L5 and it stopped me dead in my tracks. I plan to break out the heating pad today and convince my body it is really ok. Michael and I were talking about pain levels and I am honestly just done with it. I of course have my good and bad days but I am so tired of hurting to the point I can't function. I have even contimplated going back for a repeat of the Facet Joint Injections for some relief.

Emotionally I couldn't be a happier person right now. The way I felt this weekend was just amazing and it makes it easier to go through this process. I heard from my sister, whom I haven't had contact with in nearly 9 or so years on my birthday and can't wait to see and talk to her again. I believe this is the first time in my entire life I feel like I have balance, a support system like no other. Great friends, loving children and a man trying hard to make me better. Life is good .......

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Limbo

I saw Dr. Erickson today for my MRI follow-up and I can't tell if it's a good or bad thing. He said he wasn't happy with the findings and will be discussing the next course of action with a specialist. Normally he is very matter of fact about things and if he didn't see anything he would set my next appointment a few weeks out. He put the films up on the board and said he didn't have a good enough view of the area he wanted to see and is going to get a copy on disk so he can look at it with the other doctor. I obviously did something serious enough to make him doubt what to do next and even set an appointment to see me next week. He has also ordered me to see Michael now 3 times a week instead of 2, which of course I don't mind a bit !
We did have the funniest conversation though. Before I left he told me that I would have to take it easy and to not do anything extremely physical. So being the smart-ass I am I asked him if that included sex. I explained my birthday is Saturday and I wanted to live it up a little. He laughed and told me "yes Erin, that means no monkey sex". So that ended up being a joke as I walked out. I can just see myself hanging from a tree getting my groove on ! He did say I could have "gentle sex", whatever that means. He said it was getting that time that I should be able to if I was careful. Little does he know I started a few weeks after sugery ! So I guess I will have to find a new way to celebrate ... or just not tell him like I haven't thus far.

I can't say I am not nervous. There have been tons of reports of having to scope again after an injury, but I really hope what he thinks he sees isn't that, but of course he didn't share that with me. This would require time off from work I don't have and then with being the only person right now running IT on the server side I would have to put off anything for at least a month or so until I can get the new guy starting on the 12th up to speed. Emotionally I am doing great and have the best support system possible, which feels absolutely fantastic after the bouts of depression I had experienced. Physically I still do feel ok, with the exception of some pulling in the groin area and of course that nagging stab in the butt. It isn't anything like it was a month ago so I count my blessings every day that I am improving. Now let's hope it continues that course.