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I had hoped to hear something back from Dr. Phillipon's office since they have had my x-rays for 2 days, but no such luck. I can't say I am surprised at all since they have been horrible about this whole thing. I am sick of being patient. The new non-narcotic pain med makes me sleepier than the percocet ever did so I am adjusting still to that.
I had emailed my mom yesterday and asked her about our family history to see if this was inherited and there is no doubt now it definitely is. This is what my mom wrote ...
"Hi Kid:
Almost everyone in your family has osteo arthritis. Your Grandmother has it in her spine, I have it in my neck, back, elbows,hands, and knees, and your Grandfather has it in his back. Your Aunt Laurie has rheumatoid arthritis, which travels around. Both Grandma Ruth and Grandma Margaret, as well as your Great-Grandma Jennie all had it in various joints, too. "
Sadly it looks like I was going to have it regardless of what I did.
I do get to see Rob tonight. We are ordering pizza and grabbing a movie to cuddle up with the boys. Those are the nights that keep me going.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Numb
So I have just come back from Dr. Oeser's office and unfortunately they didn't give me the news I was hoping for. I was told I have Lumbar Facet Joint Arthritis in L4, L5 and S1.
There really isn't much in the way of treatment but they have scheduled me for a Facet Injection on June 10th, still 2 more weeks of pain. I will admit I am devastated. The PA I spoke to (PA Terry) was absolutely fantastic. She explained everything in detail and even broke out the spinal model to show me exactly where the problem is and where they will be doing the injections. I'm not really scared, I am more disappointed that we can't just focus on my hips for now and deal with the source of probably 80% of my pain. We are doing a pain management plan as well and I am taking 50-100mg of Tramadol every 4-6 hours and Percocet at night so I can sleep. She also said to stop any physical activity unless it's walking in a pool to alleviate some of the swelling they are seeing now. This also most likely explains the horrible pain I have been feeling in my butt cheeks.
My CT and x-rays are scheduled to be delivered at noon today to Dr. Phillipon's office so I am not expecting them to read them any time soon. She did tell me I wouldn't have to wait 2 weeks for anyone to view them. I am seriously hoping for one little glimmer of hope by having the arthroscopic surgery done by him and not a full replacement here in Denver. He is supposed to be the top in his field for arthroscopic hip surgery and if anyone is reading this please pray that he can do it this way and I am not forced to see yet another surgeon closer to home.
As for my mental state, I am numb. I don't want to do this anymore, but of course have no choice if I want relief from this horrible pain I feel everyday. I have come to the realization that arthritis is taking over my body at an very rapid pace and I will be forced to deal with it my entire life. The thought of being crippled or having to depend on walking devices to get around scares me. I guess fear is a good word to describe my state of mind right now. I know I am a strong woman and can deal with pain quite well but I feel weaker then I ever have in my entire life. I am putting my life in the hands of complete strangers and I am so scared and most of all tired. My mind is so tired and I feel helpless. This is such a new emotion for me and I will need time to figure it out. Rob has been my rock and such a needed support system, he has dealt with this so well and I am sure having a girlfriend going through this has to be hard for him. How did I get so lucky with such a good man ? I am feeling more like a burden right now than his partner but the love we have for each other is deep and is what is keeping me going every day.
Rob C. ... if you are reading this today, you are my best friend, my like-minded brain partner ( I know .. odd lol). Thank you for being there for me over the last few years. Not sure how I could have coped. The "Rob's" in my life sure have delivered.
There really isn't much in the way of treatment but they have scheduled me for a Facet Injection on June 10th, still 2 more weeks of pain. I will admit I am devastated. The PA I spoke to (PA Terry) was absolutely fantastic. She explained everything in detail and even broke out the spinal model to show me exactly where the problem is and where they will be doing the injections. I'm not really scared, I am more disappointed that we can't just focus on my hips for now and deal with the source of probably 80% of my pain. We are doing a pain management plan as well and I am taking 50-100mg of Tramadol every 4-6 hours and Percocet at night so I can sleep. She also said to stop any physical activity unless it's walking in a pool to alleviate some of the swelling they are seeing now. This also most likely explains the horrible pain I have been feeling in my butt cheeks.
My CT and x-rays are scheduled to be delivered at noon today to Dr. Phillipon's office so I am not expecting them to read them any time soon. She did tell me I wouldn't have to wait 2 weeks for anyone to view them. I am seriously hoping for one little glimmer of hope by having the arthroscopic surgery done by him and not a full replacement here in Denver. He is supposed to be the top in his field for arthroscopic hip surgery and if anyone is reading this please pray that he can do it this way and I am not forced to see yet another surgeon closer to home.
As for my mental state, I am numb. I don't want to do this anymore, but of course have no choice if I want relief from this horrible pain I feel everyday. I have come to the realization that arthritis is taking over my body at an very rapid pace and I will be forced to deal with it my entire life. The thought of being crippled or having to depend on walking devices to get around scares me. I guess fear is a good word to describe my state of mind right now. I know I am a strong woman and can deal with pain quite well but I feel weaker then I ever have in my entire life. I am putting my life in the hands of complete strangers and I am so scared and most of all tired. My mind is so tired and I feel helpless. This is such a new emotion for me and I will need time to figure it out. Rob has been my rock and such a needed support system, he has dealt with this so well and I am sure having a girlfriend going through this has to be hard for him. How did I get so lucky with such a good man ? I am feeling more like a burden right now than his partner but the love we have for each other is deep and is what is keeping me going every day.
Rob C. ... if you are reading this today, you are my best friend, my like-minded brain partner ( I know .. odd lol). Thank you for being there for me over the last few years. Not sure how I could have coped. The "Rob's" in my life sure have delivered.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
And it continues ....
This may be a little long so bear with me.
I have basically had my phone attached to my hand for the last 3 weeks hoping to hear from Dr. Phillipon's office. I put it on my desk to go get water this morning and guess what shows up on my missed calls ! So I called Madeline back and left a voice mail, which she returned the call pretty quick.
The verdict ... "Dr. Phillipon isn't sure he can help you". At that moment my heart sank. She then told me that before he could make a final decision he wanted a copy of just a plain x-ray. I had one done by doctor Weinghart in February so I ran to my doc and grabbed a copy. I also stopped at North Suburban on the way to grab a copy of my CT in March just in case. My lunch break was blown to hell ! I went to the UPS store again and shipped it overnight, nice $20.10 for something you would think they can just request since they are a medical facility. Running around town to get those is really on the top of my "Fun shit to do when I should be working" list. I know if he can't do this arthroscopically that I am facing much more than I anticipated.
I have so many emotions right now. I feel defeated by the medical system. I feel anxiety, doubt, fear and most of all sadness that I don't have something to label this pain I am going through with. It hurts to walk. It hurts to sit. It hurts to be intimate with the man I want to be with. It hurts to lay down to sleep .... IT HURTS. I feel like they just don't get it. I want my life back so badly. I am willing to try anything to get it back, but if no one will listen how will they ever know or grasp this pain I am feeling both physically and emotionally. If you had asked me 7 months ago if I would go through this process because I started running again, I would have stopped right then and there. It's funny that I dealt with the occasional issues I had with my hips for over 10 years, and in one single night my entire life stopped.
So now I wait ... again. I am waiting for one man to decide if he can give me my life back. He has absolutely no idea how important he is to me.
I have basically had my phone attached to my hand for the last 3 weeks hoping to hear from Dr. Phillipon's office. I put it on my desk to go get water this morning and guess what shows up on my missed calls ! So I called Madeline back and left a voice mail, which she returned the call pretty quick.
The verdict ... "Dr. Phillipon isn't sure he can help you". At that moment my heart sank. She then told me that before he could make a final decision he wanted a copy of just a plain x-ray. I had one done by doctor Weinghart in February so I ran to my doc and grabbed a copy. I also stopped at North Suburban on the way to grab a copy of my CT in March just in case. My lunch break was blown to hell ! I went to the UPS store again and shipped it overnight, nice $20.10 for something you would think they can just request since they are a medical facility. Running around town to get those is really on the top of my "Fun shit to do when I should be working" list. I know if he can't do this arthroscopically that I am facing much more than I anticipated.
I have so many emotions right now. I feel defeated by the medical system. I feel anxiety, doubt, fear and most of all sadness that I don't have something to label this pain I am going through with. It hurts to walk. It hurts to sit. It hurts to be intimate with the man I want to be with. It hurts to lay down to sleep .... IT HURTS. I feel like they just don't get it. I want my life back so badly. I am willing to try anything to get it back, but if no one will listen how will they ever know or grasp this pain I am feeling both physically and emotionally. If you had asked me 7 months ago if I would go through this process because I started running again, I would have stopped right then and there. It's funny that I dealt with the occasional issues I had with my hips for over 10 years, and in one single night my entire life stopped.
So now I wait ... again. I am waiting for one man to decide if he can give me my life back. He has absolutely no idea how important he is to me.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Feels like Monday
So after the long weekend I am wiped. I woke up with horrible pain in my kidney area yesterday and it seems 10x worse today. Looks like one of those 5 remaining kidney stones decided it wanted to move now. I was tempted to take a vicodin this morning but opted for Icy Hot and my heating pad (big surprise). I wanted to make sure it wasn't just a muscle issue before hitting the narcotics.
As for my hips, I am ready for some relief. My left hip is incredibly sore right in the center of my butt cheek and it hurts so bad to walk. The right is a constant now so I have learned to walk lightly with a limp and minimize the weight I put on it. People have commented that they know when I am hurting, may be the constant look of something wedged tightly up my ass that gives me away.
The 300mg dosage seems to be the right one for me. My skin cleared this weekend and I started using a new organic shampoo and conditioner that I picked up at a salon. I think my body is really adjusting to the meds and the nerve issues barely even pull any of my attention anymore. I wish I could say the same the same for the backache, but coping with one thing at a time. I see Dr. Oeser Thursday to discuss my lumbar MRI and see if we can finally do the pain management through epidural.
I am really hoping to hear from Dr. Phillipon's office today, but I am certainly not going to hold my breath !
As for my hips, I am ready for some relief. My left hip is incredibly sore right in the center of my butt cheek and it hurts so bad to walk. The right is a constant now so I have learned to walk lightly with a limp and minimize the weight I put on it. People have commented that they know when I am hurting, may be the constant look of something wedged tightly up my ass that gives me away.
The 300mg dosage seems to be the right one for me. My skin cleared this weekend and I started using a new organic shampoo and conditioner that I picked up at a salon. I think my body is really adjusting to the meds and the nerve issues barely even pull any of my attention anymore. I wish I could say the same the same for the backache, but coping with one thing at a time. I see Dr. Oeser Thursday to discuss my lumbar MRI and see if we can finally do the pain management through epidural.
I am really hoping to hear from Dr. Phillipon's office today, but I am certainly not going to hold my breath !
Sunday, May 24, 2009
My head hurts
I am awake early because Heather's friend Maddie is coming out this morning and I am making sure everything is set for our picnic. I feel hung over and have the worst headache ! I did overdo things yesterday by hitting a Farmer's Market and doing some shopping at the mall with Heather, what we women do to see if there is a good deal out there on the holiday.
I am supposed to be moving to the 300mg of the Gabapentin today but I am still unsure if I am really ready to do that. It has taken the edge off the pain I used to have along the pelvic rim but the backache is nothing to laugh about. My skin continues to make me look like a sweaty crack whore and that's the last thing I want !
Off to get the house in order.
I am supposed to be moving to the 300mg of the Gabapentin today but I am still unsure if I am really ready to do that. It has taken the edge off the pain I used to have along the pelvic rim but the backache is nothing to laugh about. My skin continues to make me look like a sweaty crack whore and that's the last thing I want !
Off to get the house in order.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Grrrrr ......
Just updating that yet again Dr. Phillipon's office has not contacted me like they promised. Should be a nice 3 day weekend wondering what the heck is going on. I am so discouraged right now. Today marked 3 weeks since I had first contacted his office. Oh well.
I survived ... again
Yay ! I made it through the entire scan due to a nice dosage of Valium (ended up taking 2). I went in head first this time so I started crying just a little until I got to the end and could see out the window behind my head. They also didn't strap me down to the table and I felt like I had more control. I don't remember much and figured I fell asleep at some point. I have my films but no clue what any of it means so I will just hang on to them until the office calls me.
Still no word from Dr. Phillipon and they said by the end of this week I would know something, I am really hoping by the end of today. If not it's another long 3 day weekend of wondering. I am feeling decent today but my right hip is hurting when I bear weight. It's fine as long as I have the heating pad on and I don't move quickly. The Gabapentin is killing the skin I worked so hard on and the acne has taken over my shoulders .. such an odd place. My hair looks dull and lifeless too but I am willing to ride this out until we decide it's not right for me.
I am off to have lunch with Rob today and that definitely makes me feel better emotionally.
Still no word from Dr. Phillipon and they said by the end of this week I would know something, I am really hoping by the end of today. If not it's another long 3 day weekend of wondering. I am feeling decent today but my right hip is hurting when I bear weight. It's fine as long as I have the heating pad on and I don't move quickly. The Gabapentin is killing the skin I worked so hard on and the acne has taken over my shoulders .. such an odd place. My hair looks dull and lifeless too but I am willing to ride this out until we decide it's not right for me.
I am off to have lunch with Rob today and that definitely makes me feel better emotionally.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Tired !
Today I am exhausted but the pain is really at it's minimum. I have been pretty busy at work so not much time to really think about the pain. I am going to try and get my electrolytes up and see if that's the cause for my leg aches. The doctors office has been pathetic at returning calls so I am counting on the know-all Google !
I am having my MRI today. They tried to reschedule again saying there was no authorization still and I was pretty down and thinking I would just rather deal with the pain than all this bullshit with doctors and insurance. So here I sit scared to death and starring at my Valium intently just waiting for the right time to roll around so I can drive. I really want to be able to make it through this one without totally losing my mind. The anxiety is definitely there and I am scared to death to be put back in that machine. It's been on my mind all week and I feel sick all the time, I even freak out thinking about it.
So, off I go to be traumatized by the big white noisy monster ! Wish me luck and send me calming thoughts.
I am having my MRI today. They tried to reschedule again saying there was no authorization still and I was pretty down and thinking I would just rather deal with the pain than all this bullshit with doctors and insurance. So here I sit scared to death and starring at my Valium intently just waiting for the right time to roll around so I can drive. I really want to be able to make it through this one without totally losing my mind. The anxiety is definitely there and I am scared to death to be put back in that machine. It's been on my mind all week and I feel sick all the time, I even freak out thinking about it.
So, off I go to be traumatized by the big white noisy monster ! Wish me luck and send me calming thoughts.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Finally !
Finally a call back from his office !!!!
I was given the excuse that he has been traveling the last few weeks to conferences and that's why my films have yet to be reviewed. The guy I spoke with, Sean, assures me that I will hear something by the end of this week or the beginning of next week.
I was given the excuse that he has been traveling the last few weeks to conferences and that's why my films have yet to be reviewed. The guy I spoke with, Sean, assures me that I will hear something by the end of this week or the beginning of next week.
Long weekend
Well Friday I chaperoned Brandon's trip to Elitches and suffered badly for it. It was hot and I got sunburned, my legs ached so badly I just sat on a bench for an hour at a time, but I got to spend that day with Brandon and his 8th grade class.
The new meds seem to be helping quite a bit but now I am dealing with the aches and weird side effects. I call it my fire mustache cause I feel it all under my nose along my top lip. I also feel a warmth in the back of my throat and tingling in my left arm. I moved up to the 200mg this morning and feel drunk for a little bit after I take it but it seems to only help a little. I find my moods are awful and I swing like a 60's couple, just a lot more random lol. There is a lot more nausea now, more than I had with the vicodin. The "poo" issue is becoming painful and I am close to taking drastic measures for a little relief. It's waking me in the middle of the night and the cramps are so painful. I made the mistake of having beer with my dosage Friday night and paid for it all night with vomiting and nausea, I was even shaking uncontrollably. That will NOT happen again.
I called Dr. Phillipon's office and left another voicemail letting them know of the anxiety and no type of verification they actually received my MRI results. They have rescheduled my MRI for my back to Thursday afternoon due to yet another verification issue with Humana.
I find myself wanting to cry all the time now ... I am so over all of this.
The new meds seem to be helping quite a bit but now I am dealing with the aches and weird side effects. I call it my fire mustache cause I feel it all under my nose along my top lip. I also feel a warmth in the back of my throat and tingling in my left arm. I moved up to the 200mg this morning and feel drunk for a little bit after I take it but it seems to only help a little. I find my moods are awful and I swing like a 60's couple, just a lot more random lol. There is a lot more nausea now, more than I had with the vicodin. The "poo" issue is becoming painful and I am close to taking drastic measures for a little relief. It's waking me in the middle of the night and the cramps are so painful. I made the mistake of having beer with my dosage Friday night and paid for it all night with vomiting and nausea, I was even shaking uncontrollably. That will NOT happen again.
I called Dr. Phillipon's office and left another voicemail letting them know of the anxiety and no type of verification they actually received my MRI results. They have rescheduled my MRI for my back to Thursday afternoon due to yet another verification issue with Humana.
I find myself wanting to cry all the time now ... I am so over all of this.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Feeling almost normal
First off let me say I am so excited about the new physical therapist I am seeing. Her name is Dr. Oeser and I could not be happier with the choice. She took the time to listen to me and her prescribing the Gabapentin is already showing progress in my pain management. I took the first dose last night and man did it knock me on my ass. I woke up at about 4:30AM and did my second dose since I was going back to bed anyway. So here I am on my 3rd dose and I can walk pretty comfortable without an obvious limp. This dose isn't making me sleepy yet so I hope that was just my body reacting to the first one last night (or I was realllly tired !). I have a terrible back ache today and the heating pad is helping quite a bit. I am curious what the MRI will show next week and if it is all related.
I called Dr. Phillipon's office and left a voicemail letting the nurse know I was feeling some anxiety about not hearing from them and just wanted some assurance that they did in fact recieve my films and they were being reviewed. I feel impatient but they should at least give some sort of acknowledgement that they recieve things like that.
I just had lunch with Rob and I definitely notice a huge change in my mood. I felt relieved from the pain and was genuinely happy. I love being with him regardless but today has been different than the last few weeks because I wasn't distracted by my pain. Life is good.
I called Dr. Phillipon's office and left a voicemail letting the nurse know I was feeling some anxiety about not hearing from them and just wanted some assurance that they did in fact recieve my films and they were being reviewed. I feel impatient but they should at least give some sort of acknowledgement that they recieve things like that.
I just had lunch with Rob and I definitely notice a huge change in my mood. I felt relieved from the pain and was genuinely happy. I love being with him regardless but today has been different than the last few weeks because I wasn't distracted by my pain. Life is good.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I'll take the center square for the block !
Uggggg ! I went in for the nerve block and she wouldn't do it. I am off for another MRI but this time they want to do the lumbar spine area. She believes the source of my pain may be a disk and not so much .. you know the hip issue ! No news from Dr. Phillipon yet but I guess it doesn't matter since I left my phone at home today. I am starting a new medication called Gabapentin to take the edge off the pain hopefully. They also gave me valium for the next MRI since finding the last one was terrifying due to claustrophobia. I am so sick of doctors.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Week 2
Well the weekend was pretty good. I wasn't in too bad of shape and relaxed a little. Heather and I messed around all weekend just hanging out and enjoying ourselves. My right hip of course still hurts bad and I am due for the nerve block on Wednesday. I am a little nervous to see what is going to happen when they start digging around by my spinal cord to alleviate the pinching of the nerves. I still haven't heard back from Dr. Phillipon's office and I show the UPS delivery on 5/4 .... gotta be soon. The waiting is killing me !
Things are going great with Rob and he offers any comfort he can for the pain and he does very well at it. We spent some time together over the weekend but it never seems enough.
Things are going great with Rob and he offers any comfort he can for the pain and he does very well at it. We spent some time together over the weekend but it never seems enough.
Friday, May 8, 2009
TGIF !
I am so happy it's Friday. Other than a complete disaster at work, the day has been ok. It has made me focus on something other than pain and I am extremely driven today to get this done so I don't spend the night doing this.
I am feeling really tight in the right hip and the butt cheek aches again but the vicodin has been working really well as opposed to the percocet. I don't feel nearly as sleepy and it seems to take a slight edge off. I took one after lunch and don't even really feel fuzzy. I am not sure why my left hip decided to hurt yesterday but it certainly has relaxed a little today. The only thing bugging me more than the hip is my kidney area, like a muscle pull.
Heather is coming tonight and hopefully we will relax a little and go have dinner with my honey. Rob came by again last night and rubbed my legs because they were hurting so badly. It helps a lot to have him right beside me taking care of me that's for sure. So, here's hoping for a less painful weekend and lots of love from all around.
I am feeling really tight in the right hip and the butt cheek aches again but the vicodin has been working really well as opposed to the percocet. I don't feel nearly as sleepy and it seems to take a slight edge off. I took one after lunch and don't even really feel fuzzy. I am not sure why my left hip decided to hurt yesterday but it certainly has relaxed a little today. The only thing bugging me more than the hip is my kidney area, like a muscle pull.
Heather is coming tonight and hopefully we will relax a little and go have dinner with my honey. Rob came by again last night and rubbed my legs because they were hurting so badly. It helps a lot to have him right beside me taking care of me that's for sure. So, here's hoping for a less painful weekend and lots of love from all around.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
It's only Thursday ....
Well, I woke up this morning feeling decent but soon found out my body was tricking me. So instead of one side hurting as normal my left hip decided it wanted to join in the fun. This is the first day I have felt pain bearing weight on both hips, let alone my left one. Both ass cheeks hurt and I want to dig in a rub them both without looking like some depraved sicko pervert at work. I am aching completely down both legs and I feel overwhelmingly nauseated for some reason.
The feeling of sadness that I felt yesterday is pretty much gone and I can't explain why it was so horrible yesterday, but that's one thing I am most grateful for. I guess the feeling of hopelessness and helplessness at the same time is starting to seriously affect my mental state.
Nate had an accident yesterday afternoon and broke the growth plate in his wrist. The timing couldn't have been better considering I had to drop the kids from my insurance so I could afford the better plan to get treatment for my FAI. If I didn't have enough stress already I sure do now. Hopefully his individual plan kicks in tomorrow and I will be able to cover his cast and x-rays for the next 6 weeks.
Rob and I are on speaking terms again and decided we seriously need to find better ways to communicate. The tension I felt from this whole ordeal with him did not help me at all and considering how low I felt I really thought we would end it there. Love can be so strange.
Right after lunch the worse sense of panic set in. I am still researching every single day and keep finding that even one of my symptoms is a cause for huge concern, and here I have 6 or 7. It appears the terms I didn't understand indicate OA (arthritis) of the worst kind. At 37 I should not be dealing with this ! I watched a few videos so I can start getting questions ready for Dr. Phillipon and got completely freaked out by how crude it is. I am so scared.
The feeling of sadness that I felt yesterday is pretty much gone and I can't explain why it was so horrible yesterday, but that's one thing I am most grateful for. I guess the feeling of hopelessness and helplessness at the same time is starting to seriously affect my mental state.
Nate had an accident yesterday afternoon and broke the growth plate in his wrist. The timing couldn't have been better considering I had to drop the kids from my insurance so I could afford the better plan to get treatment for my FAI. If I didn't have enough stress already I sure do now. Hopefully his individual plan kicks in tomorrow and I will be able to cover his cast and x-rays for the next 6 weeks.
Rob and I are on speaking terms again and decided we seriously need to find better ways to communicate. The tension I felt from this whole ordeal with him did not help me at all and considering how low I felt I really thought we would end it there. Love can be so strange.
Right after lunch the worse sense of panic set in. I am still researching every single day and keep finding that even one of my symptoms is a cause for huge concern, and here I have 6 or 7. It appears the terms I didn't understand indicate OA (arthritis) of the worst kind. At 37 I should not be dealing with this ! I watched a few videos so I can start getting questions ready for Dr. Phillipon and got completely freaked out by how crude it is. I am so scared.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
5/6
So, restless night yet again. Both legs are throbbing almost constantly and I feel ill. The burning feeling along my right pelvic brim is back and is so annoying. I find myself extremely cranky this morning but it hasn't affected my mood towards anyone else yet today. I am also starting to realize I am doing this entire thing alone. No friends, no support and really no one who understands or really cares what I go through on a daily basis. I don't expect anyone to be involved or to show any concern, after all this is MY issue and no one elses. I guess it has just been going on so long it has become the norm.
I took some Diclofenac hoping it will take the edge off today but stuck a percocet in my pocket just in case. Normally those are off limits for work but I am finding towards the end of the day that it's difficult to sit and then get around. It's funny how much my right butt cheek hurts too, I can't rub it all day because someone may call HR and say I am playing with myself. It's my heating pad to the rescue again.
I am also feeling overwhelming sadness today, definitely depressed. The stress and uncertainty is playing with my mind and I am having a difficult time getting out of the funk I am in. Maybe after I know what is going to happen, with a solid time frame, I will be better. Things went bad with Rob during a conversation last night and I am sure that isn't helping my mental state at all. The day has to get better.
I took some Diclofenac hoping it will take the edge off today but stuck a percocet in my pocket just in case. Normally those are off limits for work but I am finding towards the end of the day that it's difficult to sit and then get around. It's funny how much my right butt cheek hurts too, I can't rub it all day because someone may call HR and say I am playing with myself. It's my heating pad to the rescue again.
I am also feeling overwhelming sadness today, definitely depressed. The stress and uncertainty is playing with my mind and I am having a difficult time getting out of the funk I am in. Maybe after I know what is going to happen, with a solid time frame, I will be better. Things went bad with Rob during a conversation last night and I am sure that isn't helping my mental state at all. The day has to get better.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Rough Day ...
So I woke up this morning and could barely put weight on my right hip. It feels like the nerves are becoming more damaged every day. My jeans hurt, my shoes hurt .... my legs hurt to my knees. The pain is really distracting and will be going home early yet again today. I am starting to fall behind at work because I need to get up and move around so much. The heating pad is my best friend !
Last night Bryan made dinner for the family and saved me having to stand in the kitchen for an hour. Such a great kid ! Rob stopped by and laid on the couch with me rubbing my back because it ached and I fell asleep twice on him due to the percocet. If I wasn't so in love with this man it may have insulted him, but he's very loving and supportive and understands I am not myself right now.
Gonna go home and soak in this bath stuff I got for aches and take a percocet .... hoping for a quiet night !
Last night Bryan made dinner for the family and saved me having to stand in the kitchen for an hour. Such a great kid ! Rob stopped by and laid on the couch with me rubbing my back because it ached and I fell asleep twice on him due to the percocet. If I wasn't so in love with this man it may have insulted him, but he's very loving and supportive and understands I am not myself right now.
Gonna go home and soak in this bath stuff I got for aches and take a percocet .... hoping for a quiet night !
Monday, May 4, 2009
The beginning
My diagnosis was given to me last Thursday, April 29th. Dr. Law told me to make an appointment with a specialist in Vail, Dr. Marc Philippon. He currently practices at the Steadman Hawkins Clinic and is a leader in this field. I called that afternoon, left a voice mail with the receptionist to hopefully get a consult appointment made. I didn't hear anything by Friday afternoon and made another attempt at contacting them .. nothing. One more call this morning and left yet another voice mail and starting to lose confidence that I can get this taken care of. Right before lunch they called. The lady on the other end of the phone was pleasant and very apologetic and seemed genuinely concerned. ( her name is, Madeline). After a series of questions regarding my current condition she instructed me to mail my MRI films and report to them for further evaluation. As I am sure anyone would, I ran to UPS and sent them overnight. It will be 1-2 weeks before I am told if I am a good surgical candidate, but I know if I see this doctor he will be able to provide me with stellar care. Now the waiting begins.
The diagnosis
So here I am, 37 and about to have a very life changing experience.
A few years back I started to notice nagging pain in my hips when I walked, sat , drove and yes even during sex. The pain itself so unbearable and misdiagnosed for a very long time. It affected my life in every way and even attributed to some of my weight gain. So lots of trips to the doctor for back pain, for pelvic pain and ultimately found when they figured it was kidney pain.
My Ortho doctor thought it would be best to finally order an MRI to get a better look at my pelvis and hips. After fighting with the insurance company for 2 months it was finally approved and I was diagnosed with Femoral Acetabular Impingement (FAI).
According to my ortho and the MRI report -
- cam-type FAI and pincer-type
- partial detachment of the anterior/superior labrum
- fraying along the articular margin of the superior labrum with minimal partial detachment
- chondral softening along the superior acetabular rim manifested by low signal in the cartlidge (no clue what that means !)
- mild chrondral surface irregularity
- chondral softening involving adjacent superior femoral head
- physiologic joint fluid
- insertional tendinosis of the right gluteus minimus
This was just my right hip, the left having complete detachment.
So in a nutshell I am a mess. This blog is to track my progress and treatment of FAI and hopefully be able to share with others diagnosed.
A few years back I started to notice nagging pain in my hips when I walked, sat , drove and yes even during sex. The pain itself so unbearable and misdiagnosed for a very long time. It affected my life in every way and even attributed to some of my weight gain. So lots of trips to the doctor for back pain, for pelvic pain and ultimately found when they figured it was kidney pain.
My Ortho doctor thought it would be best to finally order an MRI to get a better look at my pelvis and hips. After fighting with the insurance company for 2 months it was finally approved and I was diagnosed with Femoral Acetabular Impingement (FAI).
According to my ortho and the MRI report -
- cam-type FAI and pincer-type
- partial detachment of the anterior/superior labrum
- fraying along the articular margin of the superior labrum with minimal partial detachment
- chondral softening along the superior acetabular rim manifested by low signal in the cartlidge (no clue what that means !)
- mild chrondral surface irregularity
- chondral softening involving adjacent superior femoral head
- physiologic joint fluid
- insertional tendinosis of the right gluteus minimus
This was just my right hip, the left having complete detachment.
So in a nutshell I am a mess. This blog is to track my progress and treatment of FAI and hopefully be able to share with others diagnosed.
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